Single. And stuff.

(Long self-indulgent bullshit post deleted)

Yeah, I was drunk. I'll shut up now.

Shut up, but…

I hate Melinda Doolittle and her giant smarmy head.

I'm sorry. I just do.

Yes, I'm ashamed. Of not only knowing who she is, but caring.

But... that head, y'all.

catching up, caffeinated

I'm at Inman Perk. Needed to do some writing and do much better when I'm away from distractions at home.

(edited)

And I'm happy to be sitting outside and writing.

I'm happy that new little ganglion on my pinky finger that was making my hand go numb has magically disappeared.

I'm happy I have a check I haven't deposited.

I'm happy everything is blooming. I don't even mind the plant sex on everything.

In related gratefulness, I'm happy I don't have allergies.

I'm happy that I'm learning how to (or trying to) be happy instead of waiting to have it smacked away. Be grateful, dammit!

I'm happy you're reading. Thanks for stopping by. I'm happy to see you. And you look really nice today. That shirt looks great with your eyes.

xoxo
s

Margaritas and stuff

Just had margaritas with H. Am blessedly tipsy, which... am I an alcoholic? 'Cause I can DRINK these days. And we were gonna go when he finished work, and he was late and I was all WHERE the fuck is this guy: I need a drink, dammit. To be fair, it was 8:15 when he came over, which stretches the idea of after work to its limits. Happy happy, though.

FYI: for the locals, Cantina has lost its liquor license or something: wasn't serving in any case (which found out and swiveled right on out the door), so ended up at Blue Frog (where Heaping Bowl used to be) which is not the same at all. Hope they get THAT straightened out.

(edited)

Update and coffee

(Posting from a coffee place during lunch to get out of the office and Big Brother web access)

So I totally made a mistake. Very little doubt in my mind. Also, very little IN my mind these days, so trying to be positive and give it a chance. But I think I screwed up.

I might come around. That and shame about bailing so soon are the only things keeping me from calling the other job and begging for them to give me back my job I gave up before I started. I just think about the other place all the time, and about the people there and feel guilty and sad.

I really REALLY have to stick it out.

Part of me is all, I know the job I took is not a good fit. This job is simply NOT ME. Simple, right? So I should leave before they sink more money and time into me, which is what what my hairstylist recommended. (What? She's a business owner.) Other people tell me I can't possibly know yet, to which I disagree: I totally can. I've realized I've made a mistake this early before and I've never been wrong on that one yet, or least I've never had that feeling and been proven wrong (which could be self-sabotaging in such a situation, I realize). In any case, part of me totally wants to bail.

I'm not going to bail yet, though, and this is why: no one would agree I've given them a fair shake. Especially my employers, which... they'd be right, technically. I know I'm a freak about the right work environment and picky as shit, which I totally realize about myself, so I know that I'd know, but they couldn't know that I'd know. (Yeah, I know that didn't really make sense.) Just: I know I have about zero tolerance for doing the wrong work or doing the right work poorly... so I do know.

Anyway. I have to give them a month, minimum. (Right?) Maybe I will like it. I'd love to be wrong on this, seriously. It'd be so much easier to keep my ass in one place. Not the least of which being that I've done this once before (quit after a month) to these exact same headhunters, though that was in 2000.

If it does play out like this I just have to hope the other place will still need and/or want me. I'm so bummed: I was thisclose to getting my shit together and blew it.

Gotta go back to the office. I was hoping when I said that I'd be happy. Damn it, me.