I'm baaaack
Dude, I feel like I've been gone FORever. I went to the beach and it was fun. My sister was welcoming and it was great spending time with them; nonetheless, I don't think I'm gonna do it again next year. I just felt like a mooch. Maybe we can all meet at the beach and I could have my own space. I think I'd be much happier that way.
Went to Columbia after that and celebrated my other nephew's birthday. Took the two boys out for a birthday extravaganza involving the zoo, Chick-fil-A and Frankie's Fun Park. Toward the end I thought I was going to strangle some little boys, but it turns out that—exhausting as they are—they were not the cause of my increasing misery. Took them home, got back to my parents' house and had to rest I was so miserable (to my parents' great amusement: "they wear you out THAT much?") which turned into acute nausea. Which turned into… projectile vomiting. Lovely. Puked all night, which turned into, well, the other. So sick.
Dragged myself back to Atlanta Sunday morning but didn't work Monday. Dragged myself in Tuesday, left early Wednesday. Subsisted on saltines, broth and egg noodles, toast, gatorade. Miserable. Didn't stop with the, um, poo issue until yesterday. Oh my gawd, small favors, man. So grateful to not be sick anymore.
I was just so miserable this week. Weak and nauseated, yes, but psychologically decimated by not being in any meetings or yoga for over two weeks. It's crucial now to my emotional wellbeing. Plus being around my family is incredibly difficult. My parents' house is fucked. I'm not sure if I've gone into this here (I don't think so) but their house is about ten years overdue for a new roof. The shingles are practically torn off. When it rains water pours in throughout the house. The floor is sinking in spots and buckling in others. The ceiling is breaking away. There is black mold peeking through holes in the ceiling. I don't even think the house is salvageable, honestly I don't. And hearing my dad say that he just needs someone to put in the cornice and he'd put on the roof, which a) he physically can't and b) would be kind of a band-aid on a gaping wound as the rest of the house is rotten through and through anyway. I just don't know what to do anymore. My advice is unwanted: I can't fix them and they're adults. Dunno. Sucks.
So, point is, I tend to be emotionally traumatized when I return from Columbia anyway, and couple that with being sick, being away from my support systems and having a rough week at work… well, it was a pretty emotionally trying week. I feel LOTS better this weekend, thankfully. Can't wait to get back to yoga this week, yay!!
Oh, and get this: got home to a leak in MY roof. My roommate hadn't told me about a bad spot in her ceiling. For some reason she thought I knew, but I don't go in her room, yo. Anyway, just saw it when she left. While I was gone we had some big rains and NOW the spot has spread to my kitchen. I panicked, hardcore, after just leaving my parents' sieve of a house. Turned into a full-on I-can't-afford-my-house panic, which, well, now that my roommate's gone, I kinda can't, at least not without many sacrifices. But I just need to slow the hell down, though, and make a considered rational decision about what I'm going to do… and I certainly didn't need to panic about all this last week when I was down anyway.
Wanna know how bad it got? Through Facebook I had gotten back in touch with an old friend, who's a stay-at-home mom and is, like, LITERALLY the president of the PTA. For a few minutes this week I imagined her life, and was so beat down and worn out that I started thinking maybe I should find a rich guy, pop out a couple of kids and just, like, do yoga and cook organic meals. Not that I'm saying that that life's all roses: it's definitely not something I'd ever want… normally, that is. Scared me straight.
It's getting late and I'm old and need lots o' sleep. This couldn't have been interesting, so bless your heart for wading through all this. :)
xoxo
Went to Columbia after that and celebrated my other nephew's birthday. Took the two boys out for a birthday extravaganza involving the zoo, Chick-fil-A and Frankie's Fun Park. Toward the end I thought I was going to strangle some little boys, but it turns out that—exhausting as they are—they were not the cause of my increasing misery. Took them home, got back to my parents' house and had to rest I was so miserable (to my parents' great amusement: "they wear you out THAT much?") which turned into acute nausea. Which turned into… projectile vomiting. Lovely. Puked all night, which turned into, well, the other. So sick.
Dragged myself back to Atlanta Sunday morning but didn't work Monday. Dragged myself in Tuesday, left early Wednesday. Subsisted on saltines, broth and egg noodles, toast, gatorade. Miserable. Didn't stop with the, um, poo issue until yesterday. Oh my gawd, small favors, man. So grateful to not be sick anymore.
I was just so miserable this week. Weak and nauseated, yes, but psychologically decimated by not being in any meetings or yoga for over two weeks. It's crucial now to my emotional wellbeing. Plus being around my family is incredibly difficult. My parents' house is fucked. I'm not sure if I've gone into this here (I don't think so) but their house is about ten years overdue for a new roof. The shingles are practically torn off. When it rains water pours in throughout the house. The floor is sinking in spots and buckling in others. The ceiling is breaking away. There is black mold peeking through holes in the ceiling. I don't even think the house is salvageable, honestly I don't. And hearing my dad say that he just needs someone to put in the cornice and he'd put on the roof, which a) he physically can't and b) would be kind of a band-aid on a gaping wound as the rest of the house is rotten through and through anyway. I just don't know what to do anymore. My advice is unwanted: I can't fix them and they're adults. Dunno. Sucks.
So, point is, I tend to be emotionally traumatized when I return from Columbia anyway, and couple that with being sick, being away from my support systems and having a rough week at work… well, it was a pretty emotionally trying week. I feel LOTS better this weekend, thankfully. Can't wait to get back to yoga this week, yay!!
Oh, and get this: got home to a leak in MY roof. My roommate hadn't told me about a bad spot in her ceiling. For some reason she thought I knew, but I don't go in her room, yo. Anyway, just saw it when she left. While I was gone we had some big rains and NOW the spot has spread to my kitchen. I panicked, hardcore, after just leaving my parents' sieve of a house. Turned into a full-on I-can't-afford-my-house panic, which, well, now that my roommate's gone, I kinda can't, at least not without many sacrifices. But I just need to slow the hell down, though, and make a considered rational decision about what I'm going to do… and I certainly didn't need to panic about all this last week when I was down anyway.
Wanna know how bad it got? Through Facebook I had gotten back in touch with an old friend, who's a stay-at-home mom and is, like, LITERALLY the president of the PTA. For a few minutes this week I imagined her life, and was so beat down and worn out that I started thinking maybe I should find a rich guy, pop out a couple of kids and just, like, do yoga and cook organic meals. Not that I'm saying that that life's all roses: it's definitely not something I'd ever want… normally, that is. Scared me straight.
It's getting late and I'm old and need lots o' sleep. This couldn't have been interesting, so bless your heart for wading through all this. :)
xoxo
posted by reallymadcow at 7:06 PM
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