status report
Not so chatty lately, as my life has kind of regressed into a H-moving-out holding pattern. He's supposed to move out by February 1, which, frankly, if that happens I'll be shocked.
So, I wait, and I dread what's going to happen. I'm really kind of afraid that 1) he'll want to stay another month(s), 2) he'll move, but not actually get around to packing until the day before and it will take him six months to get all of his shit out of the house, or 3) that he will get packed but will not actually hire movers, instead expecting me (alone) to help him. And 4) that he will continue to push every guilt button he can find to torture me some more. Subconsciously, of course.
And I'm a teeny bit afraid that he'll not even rent a moving truck and will try to move shit in the Samurai. He wouldn't do that. Right?
I just really need this to go ahead and happen. I can't move forward until he moves out. And I really want this to not be horrible, but again I'm in a situation where he's in the driver's seat and I'm tied to his decisions and behavior.
This is the only time I kind of regret keeping the house. If we were selling it, we'd both be packing and moving, and if he didn't get his shit together it'd be left behind. He wouldn't be able to drag it out. And he couldn't continue to blame my progress in not feeling like shit on me keeping the house and not having to move, instead of, oh, bloody hard work and therapy. So, this is one penalty for me keeping the house.
Spring can't come fast enough. I am so looking forward to it.
Work has slowed a wee bit. Enough, in fact, that my boss asked me to cover a photo shoot so I'll be going to NYC next week for a day. He gave me the option of staying longer, so I am checking in to that. My only reluctance in staying over is money. At the very least, I'll make sure I have dinner with Lori 'cause I miss her bunches. (My last decent visit was last February and it was cold as fuck, so I am holding off until spring for a nice long visit. May is a fabulous month in NYC, second only to September in my book.)
Money is an issue because divorce? is expensive. And more so because we're kind of balancing out me keeping the house by giving H more of our posessions. So, in the next couple of weeks, I'll have to buy a washer and dryer, a tv, a vacuum cleaner, bedroom furniture and so on. I don't know everything I'll need because H keeps pushing off decisions about splitting stuff up, so I might have a new more unpleasant surprises.
I had been hoping to get my great-grandmother's fabulous funky bedroom furniture, but my grandma thought she needed to clear giving it to me with my great-aunt and great-uncle, and, of course, some damn cousin came out of the woodwork and wants it. And I'm all like, shit, no one wanted that stuff until I did, which apparently Nanny thought, too. So now she's doing some kind of scheming to find a way to give it to me after all, which is kind of cute. I hope it works, 'cause there is no way anyone on that side of family even knows what the furniture even looks like, much less love it like I do.
Damn third cousins. I wish I had a picture to show y'all. Of the funiture, not the cousins (which, hee, that'd be fun too: that side of the family has some scary cousins). It's really awesome furniture.
Oh, speaking of money, I decided to get a lawyer after all. For the divorce. I was thinking of all these cheap options, like LegalZoom! on the web, but I have come to my senses. I just really want to not fuck up, so I think I need to bite the bullet and get a lawyer. So, if anyone knows a good divorce lawyer in Atlanta, PLEASE let me know, yo.
Just took a phone call from my photographer for the NYC shoot, and he's checking to see if he can do it Friday (in between his trip to Steamboat, Colorado for some sort of cowboy competition and his trip to Costa Rica for an environmental group, which, damn, I should have been a photographer.). So, next weekend might be an unexpected trip to NYC. Groovy.
Okay, I'm pretty impressed with the volume on this entry, so I think I'll wrap it up. Later, y'all.
So, I wait, and I dread what's going to happen. I'm really kind of afraid that 1) he'll want to stay another month(s), 2) he'll move, but not actually get around to packing until the day before and it will take him six months to get all of his shit out of the house, or 3) that he will get packed but will not actually hire movers, instead expecting me (alone) to help him. And 4) that he will continue to push every guilt button he can find to torture me some more. Subconsciously, of course.
And I'm a teeny bit afraid that he'll not even rent a moving truck and will try to move shit in the Samurai. He wouldn't do that. Right?
I just really need this to go ahead and happen. I can't move forward until he moves out. And I really want this to not be horrible, but again I'm in a situation where he's in the driver's seat and I'm tied to his decisions and behavior.
This is the only time I kind of regret keeping the house. If we were selling it, we'd both be packing and moving, and if he didn't get his shit together it'd be left behind. He wouldn't be able to drag it out. And he couldn't continue to blame my progress in not feeling like shit on me keeping the house and not having to move, instead of, oh, bloody hard work and therapy. So, this is one penalty for me keeping the house.
Spring can't come fast enough. I am so looking forward to it.
Work has slowed a wee bit. Enough, in fact, that my boss asked me to cover a photo shoot so I'll be going to NYC next week for a day. He gave me the option of staying longer, so I am checking in to that. My only reluctance in staying over is money. At the very least, I'll make sure I have dinner with Lori 'cause I miss her bunches. (My last decent visit was last February and it was cold as fuck, so I am holding off until spring for a nice long visit. May is a fabulous month in NYC, second only to September in my book.)
Money is an issue because divorce? is expensive. And more so because we're kind of balancing out me keeping the house by giving H more of our posessions. So, in the next couple of weeks, I'll have to buy a washer and dryer, a tv, a vacuum cleaner, bedroom furniture and so on. I don't know everything I'll need because H keeps pushing off decisions about splitting stuff up, so I might have a new more unpleasant surprises.
I had been hoping to get my great-grandmother's fabulous funky bedroom furniture, but my grandma thought she needed to clear giving it to me with my great-aunt and great-uncle, and, of course, some damn cousin came out of the woodwork and wants it. And I'm all like, shit, no one wanted that stuff until I did, which apparently Nanny thought, too. So now she's doing some kind of scheming to find a way to give it to me after all, which is kind of cute. I hope it works, 'cause there is no way anyone on that side of family even knows what the furniture even looks like, much less love it like I do.
Damn third cousins. I wish I had a picture to show y'all. Of the funiture, not the cousins (which, hee, that'd be fun too: that side of the family has some scary cousins). It's really awesome furniture.
Oh, speaking of money, I decided to get a lawyer after all. For the divorce. I was thinking of all these cheap options, like LegalZoom! on the web, but I have come to my senses. I just really want to not fuck up, so I think I need to bite the bullet and get a lawyer. So, if anyone knows a good divorce lawyer in Atlanta, PLEASE let me know, yo.
Just took a phone call from my photographer for the NYC shoot, and he's checking to see if he can do it Friday (in between his trip to Steamboat, Colorado for some sort of cowboy competition and his trip to Costa Rica for an environmental group, which, damn, I should have been a photographer.). So, next weekend might be an unexpected trip to NYC. Groovy.
Okay, I'm pretty impressed with the volume on this entry, so I think I'll wrap it up. Later, y'all.
posted by reallymadcow at 4:25 PM
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