My brain is full
Writing will be sporadic at best now that I fully realize how much I have to get done before next Friday's presentation. I'm dyin' over heah.
I am still recovering from the weekend and getting back to work. And the effects of the Effexor withdrawal. And workin' real hard. And the ongoing separation anxieties (hee. not really, but hee.).
I know this is going to sound really really weird, but: I'd forgotten what my personality is like. Seriously. I'm much more talkative and excitable than I remember. I mean, I was talking to everyone and anybody. BUT... I obsess over everything I said the minute I walk away, and for hours afterward. That's the part the Effexor got rid of -- the ruminating, a term used much like with a cow. You chew and chew and chew. So, I obsess and obsess and then, for kicks, obsess some more. I hate it.
On the other hand, I have more fun. I'm think I might even BE more fun. But I don't know. I think I have a skewed perception of what comes out of my mouth. Is there a mouth dysmorphic disorder? If so, THAT's what I have.
This is definitely the topic for therapy tomorrow. If the ruminating can be fixed with work instead of drugs I'd much rather do it that way. I feel more like ME, even in two weeks off the meds. And even if ME is pretty fucking uncomfortable sometimes.
In happy news, H and I are doing well. Of course, time apart did wonders for us. We've been able to talk through some shit lately, and plans are ongoing for, well, the rest of our lives. There are some things that just are not wrong with our relationship. And I hope we can keep those good things in the future and learn to be friends. I mean, we ARE friends. I want to BE friends. I want him in my life. Which is why, incidentally, I removed some of the bitter girl comments that were in the blog. If I show that to be world it's what I'll get back. So, I'm trying to dial back the pissiness (pissyness?).
I am also officially dieting, dammit. I have an actual spare tire and that shit's gots to go. And I've been good. I do need to get some healthy snacky snacks so I'm not gnawing my arm off by the end of the day. Figuratively, in case you were wondering. But, damn, yo -- bitch is hungry.
Oh, if you want some grape tomatoes, let me know. If, that is, you're in the greater metropolitan Atlanta area. I'm not mailing tomatoes. I have grape tomatoes and grape tomatoes and grape tomatoes. And I can't find any way to preserve them. I did flatten and de-seed some of them in an attempt to make sun-dried tomatoes and then put 'em in oil, but I'm actually reluctant to try them as they look weird. I might just throw some in the freezer and see if they are edible afterwards. Any tips would be appreciated.
So, um, I know I need to work late, but I'm not up to starting comp #1 at the end of the day. That's just not done. Or at least I don't. Or whatever.
Later, y'all.
I am still recovering from the weekend and getting back to work. And the effects of the Effexor withdrawal. And workin' real hard. And the ongoing separation anxieties (hee. not really, but hee.).
I know this is going to sound really really weird, but: I'd forgotten what my personality is like. Seriously. I'm much more talkative and excitable than I remember. I mean, I was talking to everyone and anybody. BUT... I obsess over everything I said the minute I walk away, and for hours afterward. That's the part the Effexor got rid of -- the ruminating, a term used much like with a cow. You chew and chew and chew. So, I obsess and obsess and then, for kicks, obsess some more. I hate it.
On the other hand, I have more fun. I'm think I might even BE more fun. But I don't know. I think I have a skewed perception of what comes out of my mouth. Is there a mouth dysmorphic disorder? If so, THAT's what I have.
This is definitely the topic for therapy tomorrow. If the ruminating can be fixed with work instead of drugs I'd much rather do it that way. I feel more like ME, even in two weeks off the meds. And even if ME is pretty fucking uncomfortable sometimes.
In happy news, H and I are doing well. Of course, time apart did wonders for us. We've been able to talk through some shit lately, and plans are ongoing for, well, the rest of our lives. There are some things that just are not wrong with our relationship. And I hope we can keep those good things in the future and learn to be friends. I mean, we ARE friends. I want to BE friends. I want him in my life. Which is why, incidentally, I removed some of the bitter girl comments that were in the blog. If I show that to be world it's what I'll get back. So, I'm trying to dial back the pissiness (pissyness?).
I am also officially dieting, dammit. I have an actual spare tire and that shit's gots to go. And I've been good. I do need to get some healthy snacky snacks so I'm not gnawing my arm off by the end of the day. Figuratively, in case you were wondering. But, damn, yo -- bitch is hungry.
Oh, if you want some grape tomatoes, let me know. If, that is, you're in the greater metropolitan Atlanta area. I'm not mailing tomatoes. I have grape tomatoes and grape tomatoes and grape tomatoes. And I can't find any way to preserve them. I did flatten and de-seed some of them in an attempt to make sun-dried tomatoes and then put 'em in oil, but I'm actually reluctant to try them as they look weird. I might just throw some in the freezer and see if they are edible afterwards. Any tips would be appreciated.
So, um, I know I need to work late, but I'm not up to starting comp #1 at the end of the day. That's just not done. Or at least I don't. Or whatever.
Later, y'all.
posted by reallymadcow at 5:40 PM
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